well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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