Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
