Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize