final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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