I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
