I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am puke
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
