Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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