Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
