i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
