i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
