Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
