Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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