What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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