If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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