first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sobbing to NWA
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm having to shit out rocks
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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