I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
