I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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