I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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