Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
