you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
