it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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