ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
