then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
