this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
