i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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