Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
vagina is talking i cant
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize