thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
