i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
