No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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