Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
