Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
