Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
