From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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