Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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