Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
