some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i am craving dick and cupcakes
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
