ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
