but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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