I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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