it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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