Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
