nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
