You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize