my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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