He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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