I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The Olympian is in my bed
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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