Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
