Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
