oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
