I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
