I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
