why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
