The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
