so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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