Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
