dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
