I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
