You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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