You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
