Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
