Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
