So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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