Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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