Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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