i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
