piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
