I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize