I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
