I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
