I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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