Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize