Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
