haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
