I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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