I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
