you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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